Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Leave Taking

Memories come flooding,
like water cascading down a cliff.
Innocence and bravery,
a child's dream.

Familiar faces,
so distant, yet always present.
The paraphernalia,
of a burdened mind.

The valley is blooming,
singing praises of youth
and childhood happiness,
why am I unable to partake in this celebration?

Unhappy moments come reeling back.
Remind me of my despair and suffering.
Why now, as I prepare myself
to leave a part of my soul?

I withdraw
my tentacles that have taken root deep.
Seven long years of experiences,
being lodged forever in my brain.

I am detached,
of the place I love so much.
My home, my self, my refuge,
all a repository of memories.

I am not alone!


Wrote this when I was leaving school, more than two years ago. And now Im going back to visit. Will I "partake in the celebration" this time round?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Summer 2010






The Gurukul Program is a one-month long exposure to Tibetan culture and society provided by the Foundation for Universal Responsibility of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. I was attracted to this programme for two reasons. In my study of Indian Philosophy, I felt academic analysis alone was incomplete without an appreciation of the manner in which these philosophies were actually lived out. In particular, my ‘incomplete’ introduction to Buddhism perturbed me. The Gurukul programme, I felt, would provide me an ideal opportunity to live with and observe a community embodying a philosophy I craved to know more about. I have been greatly moved by the Dalai Lama’s constant insistence on compassion and altruism as powerful tools to face the growing challenges of global conflicts and suffering. I was curious to see the manner in which the practice of compassion is not just integrated into daily activities, but forms the premise for the entire ethics of a community. Compassion is their religion and philosophy.

At the start of the journey, I was apprehensive and excited at the prospect of meeting new people and spending an entire month with strangers. Our coordinator, with his contagious smile put us all at ease. I found young individuals like myself, inquisitive and friendly, taking a break from their hectic lives, embarking with me on this trip to a space completely different from anyone’s comfort zone. The friendships I have formed over this last month, mostly over hot chai and parathas, are very precious for me, because we all share memories of an experience that was truly life-changing for me.

The first three days of the programme were brilliantly organized and coordinated by the Foundation. The entire group was spoiled with travelling in pre-arranged taxis to and fro the various stops on our itinerary. Those were three busy days, with just about enough time to squeeze in a breakfast here and a lunch there. In short, we were given a tour, of sorts, of the goings-on in the Tibetan community ranging from politics to education, arts and crafts, performing arts, and activism. We were introduced to and put in touch with people we could contact at a later stage. The aim was to give us an idea of the various activities that we ourselves could engage in, in different capacities, whether as students at the Norbulingka Institute or the Tibetan Institute of Performing Arts, or as volunteers with any of the numerous non-governmental organizations active in Dharamsala.

The Temple at Dolma Ling
The girls were accommodated at the Dolma Ling Institute and Nunnery. This institute was set up under the Tibetan Nuns Project which was founded over two decades ago to provide education and aid to nuns from Tibetan and Himalayan regions of India. Dolma Ling Nunnery and Institute was the first institute dedicated particularly to higher Buddhist education for Tibetan Buddhist nuns from all traditions. It offers a 17-yr curriculum of traditional Buddhist philosophy and debate coupled with modern courses in Tibetan language, English, mathematics, computer skills and basic medical training.


We had to follow the routine of the nuns, in that our meals were with them in the dining hall, and we were invited to watch their debates in the evening. During this time, the otherwise serene and quiet nunnery would be filled with animated voices of the nuns busy debating. We were also invited to attend their weekly morning prayers in the temple, but few made it to the 5am puja! The nuns also gave us a tour of their classrooms and their library which we were free to use.
Morning Prayer at the temple
The nuns offered to arrange Buddhist philosophy classes for those of us who were interested. Their monk teachers were invited to teach us and we had three to four classes a week, in the evenings after dinner. These classes were truly invigorating. Although I had studied the basic tenets of Buddhism in college, learning from a monk was quite different. Our teachers put special emphasis on the practical implementation of the teachings. Every once in a while during Gena’s (teacher’s) lecture, he would urge us to ask questions, specific to our daily lives. Scheduled for an hour and a half each, the classes often ran on for three to four hours. I was intellectually stimulated and enjoyed every moment of those sessions.

At the SFT India office
I volunteered with Students for a Free Tibet (India) and my experience has changed the way I relate to the world now. There were five of us from the Gurukul Programme who were working with them. At the same time, the Little Lhasa group was also in Dharamsala. This programme is SFT India’s one week intensive educational tour of Dharamsala and the activities of the Tibetan movement there. As volunteers, we were free to attend the sessions of the Little Lhasa group, thanks to which I got the opportunity to watch two tremendously moving and inspiring movies: ‘The Sun Behind the Clouds’ and ‘Leaving Fear Behind’. My interactions with the people at SFT, the Little Lhasa group, basically anyone who would spend any time at the office, were incredibly educational. Apart from contributing to designing awareness and recruitment posters, I gained enormous knowledge on the historical growth of the Tibetan movement, and techniques of direct action. It felt empowering to be with people who were actively engaging with conflict around them, as opposed to the milieu of lethargy and apathy I had just come from.

As a volunteer, I also got the opportunity to take part in a candle-light vigil on International Day in Solidarity with Torture victims, which was followed by an evening of poetry and literature. This event was organized in collaboration with SFT India and GuChSum Movement. The Gurukul students also organized a fundraiser concert for the April, 2010 earthquake victims in Tibet. We managed to raise Rs. 4500 which we gave to the Yushu Earthquake Charity Committee.

Practising for class!
A group of fourteen students took classes at the Tibetan Institute of Performing Arts (TIPA). Three of us learnt the Tibetan Flute and the rest, the Dranyen. Our teachers were senior artists at TIPA and we had daily classes for three hours in the morning. We formed deep friendships with our teachers, who were themselves not much older than us, and would relate to us their personal histories. My flute classes were held at various spots in and around the TIPA campus, including the cafĂ© outside. Since we were a small group learning the flute, we progressed swiftly, beginning with ‘Happy Birthday to you’, and from there progressing to more difficult Tibetan songs, including the Tibetan national anthem. Our teacher, Lobsang Gyaltsen, also taught us the unique Tibetan musical notation style. Our interactions with Lobsang went beyond flute class as well, he took us for day-long treks through villages and streams to a beautiful waterfall, untouched by popular tourism.

Coming back to Delhi was an incredibly difficult task, both physically and emotionally. One of the first observations I made upon my return was the intense sense of hostility and anger pervading all spaces, public and private. On the streets, in shops, at home, in college, everywhere one interacts with people I realized I had become sensitive to the unfriendly vibes. In Dharamsala, without consciously realizing it while I was there, I was surrounded by peaceful people. Since my interactions had been primarily with the Tibetan community I can speak only for them: I was embraced with compassion and love. One can actually feel their contentment, in spite of immense suffering. This is perhaps not unique to the Tibetan community, but my intimate suspension in their culture gave me a pleasant awakening from the cocoon I was unknowingly wrapped in, in Delhi. It is so easy to react with anger and violence to anger and violence. Most of us fail to see other ways of dealing with difficult circumstances. Compassion and patience are seen more as signs of weakness than anything else. The most important ‘lesson’ I learnt from my time spent in Dharamsala was to view compassion as a powerful instrument of communication and dialogue. It is a difficult tool and requires much practice, but I am eager to try and give it a chance.

My experience with the activists in Mcleodganj and my exposure to the movement has led me to re-examine various notions that I had so far taken for granted, for instance, the relationship between the state and an individual. It is only when you experience the loss of something do you realize its value. Observing the deep sense of loss and displacement felt by Tibetans in exile, their experience of not belonging anywhere, their embodiment of refugee-hood, and very simply, living in exile, awakened me to the intricate connection between one’s understanding of the state and one’s construction and embodiment of one’s identities. I have also become more sensitive I find to questions about ‘culture’, what defines culture, what roles do people play in constructing culture, should culture be saved. My curiosity in this field and in social anthropology has been aroused as a direct result of observations of and interactions with a community desperately clinging onto its culture in its fight to survive, and at the same time embrace the global community. 

Solitude

The pulsating of my heart
awakes me.
I'm touched by nothing,
yet everything touches me.

Soft whispers of the 
spirits, in the trees,
in the earth, in the
sky, are my companions.

Warm life
escapes from the ground I walk on
and flows through me,
reminding me of who I am.

Who am I?

Gentle touch of the breeze
on my eyelashes.
A butterfly
kisses my cheek.
A current passes down my spine,
the sheer beauty
stuns me
into silence.

Stillness
in the movement
of life around me.

Sunset at Asthachal


A drop of gold
in a stormy sea
of grey and purple and blue.

Splashes of blood 
on the sacred, overarching sky,
behind the three kondas.

A sudden spin of the sky,
as I witness the earth rotating,
from my still seat on the ground.

What will the painter
paint today?
The infinite sky 
her easel, the sun
her paint.

My senses are awakened,
I am a part of all that surrounds me,
We celebrate the beauty,
of the golden ball,
in her prime.

Dumbstruck,
at peace,
and content.